Things i am not allowed to do at Hogwarts
by rahsax
Summary: yeah i know this is an overused thing to do... but i just couldn't help myself... minor slash just me teasing characters about it, no actually pairing hints, i don't think ... some swearing... and... i think thats it! one of my first fics so be nice
1. 1 to 100

**I know this idea is REALLY overused… but I don't care… I felt like it… plus I might do a fanfic of me actually doing all these things… if I get around to it... oh and also, there is gonna more then one list… and if any of you have ideas you can always tell me… I will give you credit… **

**My friends helped me with this list so… that's why there are heaps of different writing styles because they stole my computer to write it! But I don't mind ^^ so please excuse all the different styles and patens of it… **

**I do not own Harry Potter… trust me if I did things would be a LOT different… just saying… **

**anyway without any more talking from me lets start!**

Things I am not allowed to do if I went to Hogwarts 1-100

Bring the Harry Potter Series books with me

Say "I really don't want to be in Ravenclaw I will NEVER be able to get into my dorm, and Huffelpuff is just boring, but I don't care if I'm a good guy or a bad guy so… Gryffindor or Slytherin are both good for me" before the sorting hat sorts me

Throw the second book through Moaning Myrtle's head after Harry loses the diary

Hug Draco Malfoy saying, "Your life's gonna be hell in a few years time kid."

Punch Crabbe in the face before saying "That's for nearly killing Draco!"

Get access to don't care how… just find a way

Put a pile of fanfiction as well as the seventh book on Draco Malfoy's bed

Convince Hermione, Ginny and Luna to help me spread fanfiction between all the people in the school

… if they trace it back to you, deny everything

Randomly go up to Snape and 'bother' him

Dance around the school singing 'Gotta get back to Hogwarts' at the top of my lungs

Tell the fangirls the address and how to get to it

Randomly quote a very potter musical at random times

Give Neville the Seventh Harry Potter Book saying, "you will get you're revenge"

When Cedric dies random yell out "You're boyfriend dead potter!"

walk to classes with no books and when the teacher asks where it is just 'accio' all my books to my hands and smile and say I am practicing magic

take a photo of the boggart when it turns into Snape with Neville's Grandma's clothing…

and then post said photo around the school

… especially in the dungeons

Take all the objects that could be used to hurt oneself out of Draco's room leaving only a note saying, 'its for your own good'

Get my hands on the Harry Potter DVD's and play Umbridge's kidnapping over and over again in D.A.D.A, in 5th year

I must not steal a time turner and pop in and out of Snape's class over and over and over…

I must not slip felix felicis into the Gryffindor teams pumpkin juice on the day of the match

I must not slip the drought of living peace into all the teachers pumpkin juice

Take Draco's cutlery away from him when eating saying 'I don't want to take any chances'

I must not order a years supply of chocolate in Draco's name

I must not bring a toad to school and enchant it into Umbridge's mirror

Kidnap the cat paintings out of Umbridge's room saying they should not 'be around such a crazy person'

… before decorating Harry's room with them saying 'he's a much better example for them'

I must not follow harry around singing ' I killed Sirius black, I killed Sirius black'

I also must not sing- ' his eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad ect' when him and ginny are on a date

Ask Hagrid if his beard is some type of ferret

Ask Draco if he enjoyed being put down Crabbe pants in his fourth year

Hug Draco every-time he came out of Snape's office saying, "Its ok, but you really should tell Dumbledore"

Use the 'elder swear'

Use Hagrid to solve all of my problems

Attack Voldermort with machine guns

When everyone is hyped up about Sirius Black hand out the third book saying, "Read it, learn it, and shut up!"

Every-time Harry is talking about Voldermort say, "Riddle me this, eh Potter?"

Have Wizard Rock playing loudly around your dorms ALL. THE. TIME

Plant Mistletoe around the school at Christmas time making sure that Draco & Harry end up under it at one point, take photos and post them around the school

… or Harry & Cedric

… or Fred and George

… in-fact no getting anyone under it and taking photos

Convince the D.A.D.A teacher to use the full Harry Potter series as Text-books

Give Lupin the 3rd book saying, "Don't worry, your boyfriends innocent."

After a full moon ask Lupin when he got the dog that's in his office

Anytime Draco has a go at me, roll my eyes saying, "at least my father loves me"

Randomly hug Draco saying, "you just look like you needed one."

Kiss another girl in-front of Umbridge just to see her reaction

… If she get angry at me for kissing another girl reply, "but the policy about being close to other is only about the OPPOSITE SEX, so this is perfectly within the rules."

Fall asleep in potions and when Snape has a go at me say "What! Its not my fault that you class is so boring!"

Learn to be a black kitten animagus just so I can hid when the people I had annoyed come running after me

Show Cedric the Twilight Movies telling him that's what's gonna happen after he dies

After Cedric dies show Harry the Twilight movies, telling him it proves just how evil Voldermort really is

Tell Cho that Cedric and Harry are in the closet together

… if she doesn't get, hit her

Ask dobby to make you a ticking sandwich, and then give it to Dumbledore

When Harry is pissed off at Snape for killing Dumbledore, hand him the 7th book

Congratulate Slughorn for teaching the most evil wizard in the world about horcuxes saying, "You've doomed us all."

Tell Lupin and Sirius that Umbridge has kittens in her room.

Loudly compare Kyoya Ootori to Harry Potter spending extra detail on how they look so similar but have such different personalities

Steal the cupcakes off Crabbe and Goyle after they have been knocked out by the sleeping potion

Put fanfiction all though the school like they did the burn book in 'Mean Girls'

I must not start a campus wide game of hide and seek and hide in the vanishing cabinet

… or use kitten animagus form to hid

Become Fred and George Weasley's apprentice

Call Scabber's "Peter" and when asked why say, "you'll find out soon enough"

Every-time Harry complains about Sirius Black being out to get him, hit him over the head saying, "Shut up, you'll regret saying this in a few months."

Whenever Snape asks if you didn't do your homework stand up and say, "that's absurd"

When Snape gives you a detention don't show up until the next day then tell him you were video taping lupin during 'his time of the month'

Sign all my books with, "Rahsax, the elemental spell caster,"

… or "Rahsax, the most kick-ass princess ever"

… or "Rahsax, the Princess yaoi fangirl"

… or "The umbeatable, Rahsax"

… in-fact just using anything except my name or Rahsax to sign a book is not allowed

On april fools day go up to Dumbledore's office and tell him there is a horcrux on Pigfarts and that Rumblerore is guarding it.

Introduce them to "Muggle music"

Were funeral cloths to the final task of the Twi-Wizard tournament, and when asked why just burst into tears saying, "you don't want to know"

Try to find the hidden swimming pool

In Divination 'predict' everything that will happen in the 7th book

… if you fail, hand her the 7th book saying, "Are you so sure about that?"

Find a way to make Snape smile

… take photos and use as blackmail

Play Truth or Dare with, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Harry, Ron, Draco, Neville, Cedric, Cho

… whenever a boy says 'Dare' dare him to pash one of the other guys

… whenever a guy says "Truth" ask them who they would turn gay for

Ask Snape where his button is

Steal Snape's Diary

Use the Marauders map, to figure out who is in a relationship with who

Strut in-front of Snape

Beat Snape up with the 3rd book and the 6th book, yelling at him that he's such an ass-hole in them

When Snape goes to find Sirius and Lupin hex the Whomping Willow so he can't stop it from moving, and video him being KO'ed by it

… when he tells everyone about Lupin being a Were-wolf reply with, "At least he didn't get owned by a tree"

Post the Love Calculator yaoi results around the school saying, "the Love Calculator never lies"

If anyone catches me doing something wrong scream "NINJA!" pointing behind them, when they turn around, run like hell

Sneak into Lupin's office on a full-moon and hug him in wolf-form

Ask what Dumbledore really does when he invites Harry to his Office and no fighting the Dark Lord crap, because we all know it's a lie.

Yell out when Snape is telling the class about were-wolves, "OOHHHHH so THAT'S why Lupin only has a pet dog during the full-moons… oh well… that's kind-of cute"

… or scream out "You are such and ass-hole you know that right!"


	2. 101 to 200

**Ok, Here is the second part of the list of things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts**

**I think all of these were written by me but if there is a different writing style my friends did it. **

**Also I do have another part but I don't know when I'm going to finish it… because I'm running out of idea's (Maybe when AVPS comes out I might get a few more…) So I don't know when that's going to get updated (Then again I had this one written when I posted the first one and it still took me… about 4 months to post it (I'M SORRY))**

**And Yes I do Not own Harry Potter… wish I did though! **

**Anyway without anymore of me talking lets start: **

101. Show everyone 'A very potter musical"

102. Leave the really strong Bleach books in Hermione's room and label them 'for the strong hearted'

103. Argue with Flitwick that wizards pets are in-fact their familiars

104. … and say 'that's why I have kitty, my familiar is a black kitten, like my annama… oop's shouldn't of said that"

105. Call Dumbledore Albus

106. Leave Weezley Wizard Wheezes in Snape, Dumbledore, Slughorn, Flitwick , Mcgonagall, Pomfrey's room on the night of the exam

107. Ask Quirrell how he sleeps with Voldermort on the back of his head

108. Whenever Harry passes out for some strange reason chuck him in a closet and tell Cedric where the key is. (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER FANGIRLS… wait… I'm one of you… carry on)

109. When Cedric dies go up to Harry and say, "Don't worry he will be back… as a phony vampire!"

110. When being told about the room of requirement get an evil smirk before saying, "Anything you want, eh?"

111. Buy myself one of those adorable owls that are the size of a snitch

112. Steal Lupin's Chocolate

113. Give Harry a baby basalisk for Christmas

114. Call all friends 'detention buddies'

115. Tell Snape to bath because 'his hair is much too greasy'

116. When Snape tells the school that Lupin is a were-wolf tell them that he is a Vampire

117. … if he denies it, tell them you saw him nearly drinking Draco's blood

118. Introduce the school to Manga and Anime

119. Steal Tom Riddles Diary and whenever talking to him say, "Riddle me this, Tom," before continuing into a fake story about your life

120. get some many detentions with Umbridge that you can no longer read what the pen had scarred onto your hands

121. … or instead of writing the rules write something totally awesome on there

122. … or figure out a way heal the scares and later complain she only made you write one line out and it was soo idiotic

123. … or draw the dark mark, and when Ministry asks you about it, say, "What! Umbridge made me do it!"

124. …or draw an ad for the Weazley Wizard Wheezes

125. Tell Guilderoy Lockhart that he has a dirt mark on his face and when he asks if it is off deny it

126. Go to class as a kitten animagus and randomly turn back into yourself when the teacher calls your name before saying, "HERE!" then smile innocently

127. Play video games with annoying back-ground music late at night when everyone else is sleeping

128. …especially if it is the night before exams

129. Play mind games with Snape

130. Tell Lockhart that they are not Cornish pixies but are smurfs and embarrass him in front of the class

131. On Lockhart's first day teaching D.A.D.A. yell out "Fake" at the top of my lounges before blaming Harry for it

132. When ever someone apologies for something burst into singing, "It's too late to apologize"

133. Purposely fail Umbridge's class, after being the perfect student all year and blame her saying, "Its all your fault, I did EVERYTHING you told me too, and I STILL failed. The were-wolf and the death-eater were better!"

134. … complain to the ministry about the fact that Umbridge made you fail, making sure to put emphasis on the fact that a were-wolf and a death-eater taught you better

135. In Quirrell's first D.A.D.A class yell out, "Go home terrorist" and blame Draco

136. When-ever Ginny says hi to Cho, clap over her head before saying, "Stupid, racist freshman"

137. Refer to first years as 'fresh-meat'

138. … especially when they are with-in ear-shop

139. Refer to Moony in the 4th year as "the death-eater in disguise"

140. … and tell everyone not to go to his office alone… making sure to especially tell this to Harry

141. … and if they do, hug them when they come saying, "it'll all be ok, just try to forget,"

142. get 'Voldemort, Voldymore, ooh, voldy, voldy, voldymort,' stuck in Harry's head

143. … especially before the 3rd task of the Twi-Wizard Tournament

144. Sing 'the mysterious ticking noise' whenever you here a ticking noise

145. … or got hunting for a sandwich when you here a ticking noise

146. When Hermione punches Draco ask Draco if he's in love

147. … when he denies it, say "of course not! You're in love with potter!"

148. Whenever someone punches you or slaps you (and trust me its gonna happen) dab your nose continuously and ask randoms if you are bleeding.

149. … if a girl does it to, turn to the next guy and say "What did you do!"

150. Ask Quirrell if he is an Arabic

151. … If he asks why point to the turban

152. ... If he denies ask him to remove it

153. … if he denies remove it

154. If Harry asks you what to he should to next reply with, "Just keep swimming "

155. Sing "How to save a life" to Harry after Cedric dies

156. Set all of Snape's clothing on fire, before providing him with a pure white version of his outfit

157. When Snape and Sirius are glaring at each other in 4th year tell him to 'kiss and make up'

158. Ask teachers if there is a God

159. … always being on the other side of the argument so you can waste class-time arguing, then when the bell goes quickly agree with them, before running out of the class-room

160. Bring Mobile phone, and walk to Hagrid hut, so when get caught you can just claim you were trying to get service

161. If Harry asks for help defeating Voldermort saying, "Isn't that what's Dumbledore is for, you know that's the reason you go to his office like daily… wait… if you're asking for help… what HAVE you been doing in his office!"

162. Whenever you are strongly against something keep saying, "No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, " ect. While shaking your head.

163. Commenting how herboligy is the second most useless subject after Divination.

164. Ask Dumbledore if he knows Gandalf or Saruman

165. Whenever you go near or into the forbidden forest say, "Why can't we follow the butterflies?"

166. Whenever you go into the forbidden forest with Draco, randomly yell out, "VOLDEMORT!"

167. … or "WERE-WOLVES!"

168. … or 'VAMPIRES"

169. … or anything else scary

170. keep 'accidently' making love potions in potion class

171. … and them using them to make the boys fall in love with each other

172. … or teacher and students

173. … just don't make love potions… or use them to make ANYONE fall in love with ANYONE ELSE

174. When moony turns Draco into a ferret comment on how he should of put him in Harry's pants, because Draco would much more preferred this

175. Tell Lavender that Ron is waiting for her in a closet in the corridor

176. … When she goes to find him lock her in there and throw away the key

178. No locking Harry in a closet just so you can make the joke about him 'being in the closet'

179. … nor Draco

180. … nor Cedric

181. … just no locking boys in closets

182. Whenever Seamus drinks water quote him

183. Whenever Seamus is in the same class as you and is failing yell, "BOOM!" with hand gestures.

184. … or make an actually explosion happen

185. Ask James Potter if he still have Severus's pants.

186. Ask Sirius Black if Jacob Black is his illegitimate son

187. … or Lupin

188. … or both of them at the same time

189. … if Lupin questions why you would think that he could be the father just reply with, "Don't worry, it's a fangirl thing"

190. … If Yes spread rumors

191. … If No… spread rumors anyway

192. … If Ummmmmmmmmm… record and spread MORE rumors, using footage as proof

193. … If they have no idea who Jacob Black is, Say 'never mind' and tell everyone that he DEFENTLY is their son and they just don't want anyone to know about it.

194. … or they relationship

195. … especially telling Harry

196. … if anyone argues reply with, "then why did Sirius choose a DOG animagus when Lupin is a were-WOLF."

197. … if they don't get it, facepalm

198. Try and get footage of Lupins room on a full-moon

199. …if fail, tell everyone, pointing out the fact that they are 'obviously trying to hid something'

200. Become beaters on the Quiditch team, making sure to try and hit the audience.


	3. 201 to 300

**Here is the third part of the list. **

**I'm pretty sure all of these are mine, but one or two of them might have been helped by some of my friends. **

**Also I do have another part I'm working on, but I don't know how long that one is going to take me as I am running out of idea's (I know I said that about this one as well… but I didn't realize I only have 3 more points to fill when I said that while this other one has… 83 more points to fill… so it might take a bit longer. **

**Also if you have any points you want me to add just tell me and I will, and I will give you credit in the authors note at the top! **

**I do not own Harry Potter, If I did, Cedric and Harry would of kissed before Cedric died, and Harry and Draco would of gotten together in the last book. **

**And now I will shut up so we can start: **

Things I am not allowed to do if I went to Hogwarts 201-300

201. Ask McGonagall if Yoruichi is her half sister

202. Ask Snape if he knows Michael Jackson

203. Convince the elves to give me midnight snakes

204. Throw random books through Moaning Myrtle's head

205. Ask Moaning Myrtle if she has any relation to Myrtle the Turtle in Dr. Seuss.

206. Show everyone Potter Puppet Pals

207. Put a book of pick up lines on Draco's bed.

208. … see who he uses them on

209. … place a French translation book on the bed as well

210. … tell who-even he says the lines to, to ask Fleur Delacour what he is saying

211. ask Hagrid if he does dye testing on his beasts

212. Keep attempting to steal Dumbledore's wand

213. Tell everyone that Pigfarts is a better school and I am so going with Draco next year.

214. Sneak into the shrieking shake late at night to read M or R rated fanfics

215. Ask Luna what a nargles actually is

216. In dire situations ask yourself what would Zeffron do

217. Ask Umbridge if she had ever had a relationship with ANYONE

218. … If yes, say, "you must not tell lies"

219. … If no, laugh, and then tell everyone

220. watch avatar: the abridged series in classes

221. … watch any youtube at all

222. … especially in classes

223. Tell Voldemort what a deathnote is

224. I must not go around singing 'Mcgonagall & Dumbledore sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G'

225. Call Cedric: "Edward" and when asked about it, just laugh, and say, "You wouldn't understand."

226. Snigger loudly when Cedric is telling Harry about the 2nd task in the fourth year.

227. When-ever Cho asks if anyone knows where Cedric is snigger loudly and say "you don't want to know"

228. Start calling Harry Potter: Tom Riddle, and why he asks why say "you'll find out soon enough"

229. Yell at Voldemort for creating the hideous sparkly Edward Cullen

230. In her first year, randomly hit Hermione over the head when she asks why just say, "I had to stop that hair of yours it was going to eat you"

231. Tell Harry for the millionth time that he looks just like his father except his eyes. You have your mother's eyes

232. Ask Dumbledore what love is and then tape it, label 'the most frequently used lecture to Harry'

233. Send Pettergrew to a talk show called 'why did you sell out the Potters to voldemort'

234. Ask Pettegrew what the reward was with an evil sneer.

235. Ask Lucius if you can pet his hair

236. … If yes, pet his hair

237. … If no, pet his hair

238. Tell Lucius he has 'such pretty hair'

239. Ask Belletrix Lestrange to talk of her love affairs with Voldemort

240. Ask Aragog if there are any giant butterflies

241. … If No, assume he has ate them, and tell Ron

242. … If Yes, tell Ron

243. … Ask if said butterflies are man eating

244. … If yes, tell Ron

245. … If no, tell Ron they are

246. Get my hands on the scarf of sexual preference

247. Then sneak onto everyone else in the school

248. … writing down what it said and who it is about

249. … smirking when it gives me an answer I want

250. Pose as Snape and tell Harry he has a detention

251. Tape him waiting for Snape to arrive

252. When he tells everyone the next day tell him 'that's absurd'

253. Sell the tape for a large sum of money

254. Turn a football into a port-key

255. Turn a dolphin into a port-key

256. Tell Draco to turn himself into a port key so he will have an excuse to touch himself more often

257. … not that he doesn't do it enough already

258. After Harry figure out Sirius is innocent, remind him that Dumbledore knew the WHOLE time, but chose to let him go to Azkaban

259. … also tell Lupin this

260. Tell Snape that while Harry doesn't strut, Draco does

261. Whenever a group of people are saying the same thing, say something completely different

262. Go up to Draco singing 'Granger Danger'

263. Ask Draco if he knows about the pictures on google

264. Buy a huge chocolate bar for Ron

265. Whenever you see Ron give him a snake

266. Ask Dumbledore if there is anything he should of told Harry 7 years ago

267. Ask Draco what he is hiding in the room of requirement

268. Ask Draco when he's gonna get out of the cabinet (closet)  
269. Ask Voldermort if he enjoys being in Harry's body

270. Tell the twins that they should cosplay as each other (yes there is no point, but their faces would be priceless)  
271. Ask Draco when we will tire of being the Death Eaters Bitch

272. Whenever trying to get into the Ravenclaw dorms saying, "Tom RIDDLE would be good at this"

273. Stick realistic looking spider stickers on all of Ron's books

274. … or anything else he owns

275. … or all over his dorm

276. … or all over the common room

277. … nor am I allowed to release an actual spider on his bed

278. Call Draco a 'Homo'

279. … when asked / threatened about it explain that it's the shortened form of Homozygous which means pure-breed or pure-blood

280. … nor am I allowed to refuse to answer but reply saying, "You really should read some muggle science, you will understand it if you do"

281. Using science to out-smart teachers / students

282. Whenever you I am told something is impossible reply with, "But this is MAGIC, it CAN'T be impossible!"

283. Stick a sign on Draco's back saying, "Beat me up, everyone does!"

284. Throw a dance party late at nights in the great hall

285. …especially the night before exams

286. …nor am I aloud to not invite anyone else because they would 'ruin the mood'

287. …nor am I aloud to choose the loudest music I can find

288. Play really loud rock-songs in the middle of the night

289. … and if told off telling the teacher that I was 'just practicing'

290. Turning the textbook Umbridge gives me into a really pretty paper cut outs

291. … or use those paper cut outs to re-create scenes from my favorite books / movies / youtube clips / fanfictions

292. … or give those paper cut out scenes really cool background music, making sure the whole class is distracted from the lesson

293. … or create an army of paper cut outs and send them against Umbridge telling her that they don't like to be used to turn the children into zombies

294. Create a game called 'how long you survive near the Womping Willow' and invite other people to join

295. … especially not teachers

296. Tell Voldermort that he should use a giant trampoline or a giant slide to get into Hogwarts.

297. Tell Voldermort to use the ventilation to get into Hogwarts.

298. Whenever I see Cornelius fudge I must not yell out, "HE'S BACK I TELL YOU!"

299. … Nor "you have doomed us all."

300. … Nor "Voldermort returning was really kind of obvious wasn't it?"


	4. 301 to 400

**Ok, so this is the 4****th**** chapter… yeah**

**I have to thank ****SapphireWingsofTwilight for idea's 302-306, and she also killed the blank in my head so I should also thank her for 307-311! **

**Also mentioned is Mpreg (but in a 'it doesn't exist fashion (oh, and yes fangirl I do like Mpreg so no hating me for saying it doesn't exist))… as well as torture… I find that subject a bit **_**too **_**interesting (I do agree that torture is horrible… but I'm intrigued by it…).., and a bit of history… but only a little**

**This has references to other fics, look into my favorite list if you want to find them. **

Things I am not allowed to do if I went to Hogwarts 301-400

301. Show Fudge the graveyard scene from the 4th movie telling him, "If you wanted to see what really happened, here look!"

302. I must not sneak into the potions cabinet as a black kitten animmange and steal ingrediants to make the Polijuice Potion.

303. ... and steal some of Draco's hair

304. ... and drink the potion

305. ... and try and get Harry to kiss me

306. ... and secretly take pictures and post them around the school

307. … or steal Harry's hair

308. … and try to get Draco or Cedric to kiss me

209. … and secretly taking pictures and posting them around the school

310. … just no stealing people's hair to make Polijuice Potion

311. … unless you absolutely have to, and then no trying to make others kiss them.

312. No sleeping through any class, you are there to learn, not to sleep

313. … and especially not if the reason you were sleeping in class is because you stayed up late the last night keeping everyone else in the dorm awake with previously mentioned things in this list.

314. … even if the class is boring

315. … and everyone else is doing it

316. No complaining about how annoying a Quill is and how you want to use a Biro.

317. … because the people that know you will know your lying.

318. I must not dare Fred and George to play Quidditch in the nude

319. … Or Harry

320. ... Or Draco

321. … No daring anyone to play Quidditch in the nude

322. Claim that 'soccer is much better then Quidditch'

323. … and when people as me why I reply with 'because you can see the hot guys closer'

324. I must not introduce the girls to Hetalia

335. … or laugh whenever someone mentions a contry

336. … especially when said country is VSing another in a sporting event.

337. Demand Hogwarts gets a Health and Safety Manager

338. … laugh at them when they have a heart attack because of everything dangerous with the school

339. … keep undoing everything they do to fix the school

340. … Laugh at them when they try to make the other teacher's safer and they don't listen or try to convince them that they are safe

341. … call them 'Umbridge V2'

342. …tell him you'll help find everything dangerous with the school only to return the next day looking worn out saying 'it's impossible, there is just too much, completely impossible.'

343. Every time you see Hermione sing 'Hermione can't draw, Hermione can't draw'

344. After the 7th book suggest to Death Eaters that they go back in time and try to kill Harry in his first year of Hogwarts

345. Carry around Red Vines and look out into the distance every time you ask someone if they want one

346. Every time you see Lupin sing 'Lupin can't sing, Lupin can't sing'

347. Make Neville eat Bambie's mother.

348. Ask Lupin to teach you his lesson on 'how to get fired'

349. Write fanfiction in class instead of doing work

350. … especially Harry Potter fanfiction

351. … especially Harry Potter fanfiction with slash pairings

352. … especially Harry Potter fanfiction with yaoi slash pairings that make no sense and should be burned instead of written! (Hagrid/Dobby anyone?)

353. … especially writing X-rated smut scene's

354. … no writing them about the teacher that's teaching you either…

356. Draw the Death Eater symbol on your school work

357. …or on your test demanding a better mark or else 'you know who will get them'

358. Write a book on ways to escape Azkaban

359. … and no giving them to Death Eater's telling them that they will 'need them'

360. … no going to Azkaban and selling them either.

361. … just no selling or giving them away

362. Randomly running down the halls screaming that some monster is attacking you is not funny.

363. …especially in Harry's 2nd year

364. …especially with fake blood on you

365. … no real blood from some poor animal either.

366. The ghosts do not find it funny when you scream and run every time you see them.

367. … nor does anyone else.

368. Randomly breaking down into tears in Snape's classroom because 'you feel sorry for him'

369. … nor is 'but his death is just so sad' a good reason to cry in his classroom

370. making fake prophesies in Divination about things that have not happened yet (but are in the books)

371. … nor am I allowed to recite the prophesy Harry finds in the 5th book.

372. Pysco-analysing your teachers.

373. … or other students.

374. … especially Harry and Draco

375. … stating all of Harry's mental problems come from his parents dying and some evil villain wanting to kill him.

376. … and Draco's because he wasn't hugged as a child.

377. If you fail a test just shrug and say 'oh well, I'll just use my time-turner to go back and re-do it.'

378. … nor say that you will give yourself the questions so you can learn the answers off by heart.

379. Hint that two guys would make 'such pretty babies'

380. … especially two that don't get along well

381. … nor are you allowed to start naming the non-existent children

382. Just because someone is vomiting does not mean they are suffering from morning sickness and are therefore pregnant.

383. … especially the males.

384. Ask Snape if there is a potion that can get males pregnant

385. … nor McGonagall if there is a spell

386. … their isn't

387. History class is not 'learning about the twistedness of mankind'

388. I may not ask the Muggle Studies teacher about all the different torture methods Muggles used over the years.

389. … nor to list off the genocides committed by Muggles

390. … nor am I to ask the History teacher about different Magical torture methods used over the years.

391. … nor the genocides

392. … even if it does make History class all the more interesting for me.

393. … it will make everyone else sick.

394. 'Rape and pillage' is not the correct answer when asked a question about what people do when they get control of something.

395. … nor is it the correct answer to anything else

396. … the magical world could be less filled with psychopaths then the muggle one… you never know.

397. Ask if different famous people throughout history were wizards

398. … especially the infamous ones

399. Voldermort V Harry is not WW3

400. Boredom is never a valid excuse.

**Thanks for reading this chapter. Please review, I always love them! And if you have any ideas for other things I could add to the list please tell me, I will give you credit. **

**I don't know how long it'll take me to get the next chapter out… or even if there will be a next chapter… it depends on how quickly I get new ideas! **


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